Every Friend’s Day the same thing happens to me: I see my inbox fill with sweet lines, memes, and old photos, and I think of another question, the one almost no one asks aloud. If tomorrow the world collapses on you, who do you call first?
I’m not talking about friends for the good times, the ones who toast and post the story. I’m talking about those who stay when things get tough: the ones who hold you up, think with you, hug you without judging, and push you to keep going.
They are the ones who celebrate your achievements, but also accompany you in silence, in grief and in uncertainty. The ones who dare to tell you an uncomfortable truth, and they do it from affection, not to hurt you.
Who sits at your “crisis table”?
In my practice, when I accompany someone through a crisis — personal or team-related — the same question always arises: who is by your side right now?
Quite often the answer hurts, because we discover that we fill up our calendars with connections, but the crisis table is almost empty.
Choosing who sits at that table is an act of awareness. Not everyone has to be there, and that’s okay. It’s about safeguarding the most intimate space of your vulnerability, the space that often defines a large part of your growth.
In the critical moments, the surroundings that surround you can make the difference between staying paralyzed or finding a new way to move forward.
An exercise to do in two minutes
Therefore, this Friend’s Day I invite you to set aside the mass greetings for a moment and ask yourself a brave question, the same one I ask my clients when we begin working together:
Who are the people you would choose to have by your side if tomorrow the ground shakes hard beneath your feet?
Write them down. Seriously. Grab your phone or a piece of paper and write those names. You’ll learn more about yourself from that two-minute exercise than from many long conversations.
Cultivating deep connections is also a decision
Cultivating deep relationships isn’t just a gesture of affection: it’s also a way to build a sturdier life. It is to choose to invest time and energy in people with values, commitment, and with whom you can grow.
They are the ones who propel you toward your best version, support you when you need it, but also challenge you. They sincerely celebrate your progress and have the strength to accompany you without letting the crisis drag you down.
Being conscious about choosing your crisis table is also an act of self-love. It’s the filter that helps you recognize which connections strengthen you and which end up wearing you down.
It’s not about having more friends, but the right ones
The friends who truly matter understand that crises can also turn into opportunities. They are the ones who have the calm to be present, the humility to learn, and the courage to walk beside you.
Celebrate those connections with intention this Friend’s Day. And if, by doing this exercise, you find that your table is emptier than you’d like, don’t be afraid: it’s information, not a verdict.
It’s never too late to choose better or to build the bonds that are still missing. As I always say in my sessions: it’s not about having more friends, it’s about having the right ones.
