There are decisions that change the course: moving to another city, ending a relationship, starting to study something at 40, accepting a proposal that disrupts the routine, or daring to do something different.
In those moments two voices that are easy to confuse often speak: intuition and fear. One seems to warn us that something isn’t right; the other invites us to stay where we are, even when we know we need a change.
How can we recognize when a sensation protects us and when it simply slows us down?
For Santiago Bras Harriott, a personal and executive coach, founder of Coaching Argentina, and with nearly two decades guiding processes of change, learning to differentiate them proves decisive for transforming one’s own life.
“Many people believe they are listening to their intuition when, in reality, they are obeying their fears. Fear often disguises itself as prudence, analysis, and even common sense. That’s why one of the major challenges of personal development is learning to recognize from where we are making our decisions,” he explains.
Fear Also Knows How to Argue
Fear does not always arrive accompanied by anxiety or distress. Sometimes it presents itself as an apparently reasonable explanation: “It’s not the right moment,” “Better to wait,” “I’m not ready yet,” or “Maybe later.”
These are phrases we can use to justify decisions that, at heart, respond to the fear of making a mistake.
It happens more often than we think. It appears in that pending conversation with a partner or a friend that is postponed week after week; in the course we always wanted to take and never started; in the trip we dream of taking alone but never booked; or in a relationship that no longer serves us and we sustain “out of habit.”
“Fear seeks absolute certainties before acting. The problem is that life never offers complete guarantees. If we wait to have everything under control to move forward, we’ll probably end up immobilized,” the specialist notes.
However, Bras Harriott clarifies that fear is not an enemy in itself.
“Fear also serves a protective function. It allows us to identify risks and prepare ourselves. The difficulty arises when it stops being a warning signal and becomes the one guiding our decisions.”
Intuition, a Form of Intelligence That’s Hard to Explain
Intuition often appears as a perception that arrives before we can construct a rational explanation.
Much of what we call intuition arises from experiences, learning, and patterns that the brain recognizes quickly, often without us noticing.
It’s that feeling that shows up when we meet someone and something rubs us the wrong way, or when we enter a house and feel that we could live there. It is not infallible and does not guarantee we’ll be right: it is a way of processing information that can complement rational analysis.
“After so many years working with people, I learned that often what matters isn’t only what someone says, but also what they fail to express. Silences, contradictions, and behaviors also communicate,” Bras Harriott asserts.
And he adds: “Living with more awareness also means learning to see beyond what is obvious.”
That perspective becomes more useful when combined with concrete data, attentive listening, and reflection. An intuition can help us formulate a question, but it doesn’t replace verifying the facts.
When Fear Passes Itself Off as Intuition
One of the most common mistakes is interpreting an intense emotional reaction as an intuitive signal. A painful experience can make us perceive threats in new situations, even when the circumstances are different.
Someone who has gone through a difficult breakup, for example, may distrust every person they meet afterward and believe that their intuition tells them to “pull away,” when in reality they are reacting from a wound that hasn’t closed yet.
Something similar can happen after a move that didn’t go well or a project that failed to prosper: the fear of repeating the experience can prevent us from trying something new again.
“Difficult experiences leave lessons, but they can also generate defensive mechanisms. If we don’t review those experiences, we risk turning our past into the director of our future,” the coach reflects.
That’s why distinguishing fear from intuition requires more than just listening to a sensation: it also requires knowing ourselves.
Three Questions to Ask Yourself Before Making a Decision
Bras Harriott offers three questions to detect what is influencing our choices, from the most everyday to those capable of changing the course of our lives.
1. Am I responding to what’s happening or to what I fear might happen?
Many decisions are shaped by imaginary scenarios that haven’t occurred yet. Separating concrete facts from assumptions can restore clarity.
2. What would I choose if I weren’t afraid of making a mistake?
This isn’t about acting irresponsibly, but about identifying how much the fear of failure, of rejection, or of losing control weighs on the decision.
3. What information do I need to trust my decision more?
Intuition can be a starting point, but important decisions also require evidence, perspective, and an analysis of potential consequences.
“A mature person isn’t someone who never feels fear. It is someone who can recognize it, understand it, and prevent it from deciding for them automatically,” Bras Harriott explains.
Knowing Yourself to Decide Better
There is a lot of talk about well-being, balance, and “letting go,” but the extent to which our fears influence our daily choices—who we connect with, what we accept, and what we postpone—is not always acknowledged.
Who doesn’t know their own fears may remain in a relationship that drains them, avoid a necessary conversation with a child, a sister, or their partner, or say yes when they really want to say no.
Who knows themselves, on the other hand, has more chances to respond calmly when life gets complicated.
“Self-knowledge does not begin when we try to change others. It begins when we learn to listen to ourselves. We can’t expect healthy bonds or free decisions if we are permanently governed by our own fears,” he states.
Life is full of decisions without guarantees. Some involve leaving what’s familiar—like a home, a city, or a bond. Others require accepting that a phase has ended. Many challenge us to trust capabilities we have not yet tested.
On that path, fear and intuition can coexist. It isn’t necessarily about silencing one voice to hear the other, but about developing the emotional maturity needed to understand what is happening to us.
“There are people who spend years waiting to feel ready to start living the life they desire. But often confidence doesn’t appear before taking the step: it is built as we move forward,” the specialist says.
And he concludes: “Fear reminds us of what we can lose. Intuition can help us recognize what is worth exploring. The wisdom lies in learning to listen to both signals, think clearly, and have the courage to decide. Because growth doesn’t mean living without fear, but preventing fear from keeping us from living.”
Source: Santiago Bras Harriott, personal and executive coach and founder of Coaching Argentina
