We have immediate access to information, answers, solutions, and resources. Everything seems within reach with little effort and few neurons involved. And, yet, I wonder: what is happening to our capacity to truly connect?
Connecting is not merely about being in touch, exchanging, talking, replying, or sending an emoji. Connecting is about meeting one another, listening to each other, looking at one another, sharing a conversation that invites us to reflect, that leaves us with something, that moves us, that makes us think and feel.
This reflection comes from something I have been observing, living and feeling.
The Edges Have Been Blurred
I think many things have been turned upside down. The edges, the boundaries, and even the values are being shifted, in every sense.
In the past, it was clear in a relationship who the adult was and who the minor was, what the roles were, and how far you could push the line, because the limit touched respect and there was no excuse that would justify otherwise.
We were clear that to reach a goal you had to work hard and consistently, that processes have their own time and you had to go through them to learn something new.
Today we live at a click’s distance. What’s important becomes blurred with what isn’t. The tolerance for things to be built shrinks. Artificial intelligence begins to intrude, even into the world of relationships. Before, we asked a friend for advice; today our best confidant has no face (weird!).
We live permeated by immediacy, by speed, by the need to resolve everything as soon as possible, and this, in turn, fills us with anxiety, distress, sadness, and confusion. Stress spikes because we coexist with extremely high uncertainty. Stop the world, I want to get off!
I see it every week in my office. I am receiving more and more people wanting to start therapy because they can’t quite understand what’s happening to them, because they can’t turn off their heads, because they feel a lot of anxiety and a strong pressure in the chest. Different symptoms that speak of the same thing: not knowing how to find solid ground in a world that keeps spinning.
The Outsourced Life
I do not deny the benefits of this “technological revolution.” But I don’t deny the threats either.
What happens to the emotional and relational structure? There is a notable rise in existential crises at all life stages. Where is my meaning? Where is my desire? What things awaken it? How long does desire last? Where do I place my knowledge, my talent, my abilities, if there is something that does everything for me?
What happens to us when all our destiny is managed with a “click”? Where did the architecture of our own life go? What happens to our capacity to create, to make mistakes, to learn, to think and to navigate processes?
And, above all, what happens to our capacity (and need) to encounter ourselves?
I Have Been There Too
I speak from my profession and reflect from my personal life.
I have lived it too.
That heaviness in the chest on Sunday nights or Monday mornings. That suffocating feeling, of having a hundred windows open and not knowing where to start.
Fortunately, there is the chat to tell you to order it all: “Think for me and send me everything done.”
But… that inner feeling cannot be transferred or fixed with a click…
It was there, in those moments of greatest crisis, when I began to discover something interesting.
The meeting with others brought me relief. A deep conversation, a question that makes you think, a compassionate gaze and genuine contact.
Something so simple and so human as meeting each other.
There was something in those spaces that ordered me inside and gave me clarity. As if, in some way, it brought me back to myself.
The Other as Mirror
There emerged more strongly a conviction that has accompanied me always: the strength of human connections helps us stand firm in a world that is so volatile.
The other is nothing more than our own mirror. What challenges us, disturbs us, and moves us is what helps us continue discovering ourselves. It is what allows us to see, through others, what does not show up when we are alone.
That is why it’s necessary to pause and ask ourselves a few questions:
Are we really connected? With what, with whom?
We can be hyper-connected and feel deeply alone.
We can have access to thousands of answers and still crave a good conversation.
Because it’s not just about receiving information. It’s about what happens to us in that exchange: what we feel, what we discover, and what awakens in us when we are with others.
From the Root
All my life, almost without realizing it, I have generated meaningful encounters, socially and professionally. Sometimes with a specific objective, when I work with leaders and teams. On other occasions, more freely and spontaneously.
But the purpose from the root is always the same: CONNECT.
To generate moments that leave a mark and questions that light something up. For a while, to feel again, to look at each other carefully, to laugh among us, to cry, why not? And to truly meet one another.
To what I have always done in a genuine and intuitive way I gave form. Thus SERoFILTRO was born, a brand of meaningful games: questions, dynamics and prompts designed to generate deep and enjoyable conversations in all kinds of groups and with people of all ages (friends, work teams, leaders, families, couples, teens and adults).
A good way to slow the brain, step out of autopilot, and be present without screens.
All natural, nothing artificial.
Back to the Basics…
Because in a world that constantly pushes us outward, the path out is inward.
Source: Natalia Fossati, Psychologist, Coach and Organizational Consultant (@ natalia_fossati). Founder Accionar Humano | Consulting firm specializing in Talent Management, Leadership and Humanized Culture. Creator of SERoFILTRO (@serofiltro).
