“Fortunately, we’re not just anyone… We are Charly’s Salieris / We steal melodies from him,” says León Gieco in his 1992 album Messages from the Soul.
The brilliant idea of the Argentine singer-songwriter refers to the Italian composer Antonio Salieri, whom legend has placed in an awkward position: the thief of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s compositions, allegedly born of envy or rivalry. Surely the myth surrounding these two figures has thickened the reality, but in psychology it works as the metaphor of the “second.”
It is recognized as the “Salieri Complex.” Popular culture adopted that symbol: to be in the shadow of one who holds first place. It manifests as a feeling of bitterness and frustration that overflows the effort made without the desired outcome.
When discipline and tenacity fall short, when all those qualities are eclipsed by a stronger rival, it becomes necessary suspend judgment and destructive self-criticism, to make room for reflection. Being a “Salieri” does not mean being bad at the task at hand; it means understanding that sometimes others occupy a place that delays us a few steps, and that is not the death of anyone. De-dramatize, and turn the page…
The victory of a rival does not diminish one’s own value; on the contrary, someone else’s success can be the impetus for a compassionate view toward the sacrifices required to become runners-up; it helps strengthen one’s discipline and practices acceptance that rebuilds self-esteem, and accompanies the process with a central understanding: the provisional sense of the laurels one seeks.
In games as in life, today they are in our hands; tomorrow the laurels will be won by someone else. It is well known that the narrow margin between being the “pioneer” or remaining a “follower” can have unfortunate consequences for mood and self-confidence if one does not know how to manage frustration.
These ideas and emotions resonate especially on Sunday night, July 19, 2026, after Argentina’s World Cup final defeat to Spain. But let us review other stories to observe how the very human emotion of watching the parade of success pass by in a place of “second” rank is lived.
A Journey to the Moon and the Desolation of Being Second
This July 20 marks 57 years since that heroic step for humanity, when in 1969 the famous (and controversial, stacked with conspiracy theories) moon landing took place.
The USSR wrestled with the “second-place complex.” While it had spent years in the space race (orbiting the first satellite, Sputnik, and the famous dog Laika, as well as the first man in space, Yuri Gagarin), Apollo 11 was the one that landed on the Moon, and the Soviets canceled all projects after feeling crushed by the historic defeat.
Neil Armstrong is the most famous name associated with the Moon landing. The second man to step on it was Buzz Aldrin, who upon returning to Earth endured years of depression and alcoholism for not being able to cope with the frustration of not having been first.
He managed to recover, after a long process of acceptance, therapy, and the capacity to reinvent himself with new goals. At thirty-nine years old, precisely on July 20, 1969, Aldrin would become the second human to leave his mark in the lunar dust. One of his quotes is moving: “When the first men and women set foot on Mars, I will be there, either watching it on my television or looking from a star.”
This astronaut who managed to overcome the second-place complex leaves us with a great lesson. He once recounted that his journey back to restoring confidence was personally more valuable than the space journey itself. Interestingly, his maternal surname was Luna, and he rediscovered the meaning of his lineage when he could honor the whole rather than just the part… Today, at 96, he is the last surviving crew member, since Armstrong died in 2012 and Michael Collins in 2021.
The South Pole, the Theory of Evolution, the Telephone, and Saint Joseph
Few remember it, but in 1912 there was a tragic event suffered by a group of explorers led by the British Robert Falcon Scott when reaching the South Pole. An epic of exhausting days and extreme temperatures to arrive at the Pole. But that January would freeze their hearts: they saw the Norwegian flag of Roald Amundsen, who had stepped on that ice just a month earlier. Demoralized, they could not recover from that second place and on the return journey all perished from hunger and cold.
Charles Darwin acknowledged being second: he had spent twenty years developing the theory of evolution when he received a long letter from the young naturalist Alfred Russel Wallace with the same theory, asking for his opinion. Darwin did not grow discouraged by seeing the first place snatched in those reflections, and soon afterward he published On the Origin of Species, erasing Wallace’s name from history.
Popular myth says the inventor of the telephone also fought for the first place: when in February 1876, the American inventor Elisha Gray arrived at the patent office to register his invention, he found that Alexander Graham Bell’s lawyers had filed the application that same day, a couple of hours earlier. And although Gray spent years in court battles that ruined him, he did not obtain so much as a crumb of the powerful device that had just been born.
And if we turn to the Bible, Saint Joseph took a “second place” as the father of Jesus, or in Pope Francis’s terms: “Joseph was the earthly shadow of the Heavenly Father.” Symbolically, he represents the guardian who does not claim authorship of the work, nor to be the protagonist: he is the one who steps away from frustration and proudly assumes the role of guardian, educator, and servant.
Turning the Place of Defeat Around
Second place represents the “defeat relative to the first,” for the bias of proximity (“being just one step away”) does not carry the same warm significance as the third who also climbs the podium and celebrates.
Assessing that the effort was not in vain, accepting vulnerability, and managing expectations involve validating another form of achievement. Achieving this leap in standings, with humility and a sense of experience, fosters a more mature, healthier consciousness and supports new expectations; value the effort and dedication over the outcome with applause, and shift the axis of comparison “to be first” which only generates anxiety.
In a culture that prizes the rush to success, these emotional skills are the major criterion of change: finding well-being in the strength that supports the base rather than insisting that one can always occupy the apex of the podium.
To validate sadness and frustration is a sign of health; allowing oneself that struggle with authenticity without losing the broader perspective, and then being able to recover: reframing objectives, trusting in future goals, adjusting demands, uncovering the hidden learning in the process to face new possibilities. In profession, in ideas, in football, and in life itself, it happens this way.
Source: Diana Paris is a psychoanalyst, psychogenealogist, and bibliotherapist. Author of Family Secrets, Family Mandates, Readings That Heal, Women Without Children, Your Voice That blossoms (co-authored with Ondi Paris), all from Del Nuevo Extremo Publishing.
